After an in-camera meeting last week, a spokesperson for the St Catharines City Council announced that it would be formally abandoning all democratic processes at the municipal level.

“We’ve been moving in this direction for some time,” a spokesperson for the city stated in a phone interview with a SubStandard reporter. “Most of our important work was done in-camera anyway,” she/he said. “And then we had to go through the tedious process of fending off requests for a report of what went on.” The spokesperson audibly rolled his/her eyes. “You have no idea how tiresome the public can be. Council obviously knows best, so this way we just cut to the chase and do whatever we want.”

The meeting took place after the council elected Mat Siscoe to fill a vacant regional seat in contravention of an estimated 17 acts and policies. Not surprisingly since the regional position meant a pay raise of $10,000 to $15,000, Councillor Siscoe voted for himself.

When the NSS reporter pointed out that eliminating democracy seemed, well, undemocratic, the spokesperson quoted Councillor Siscoe: “These are unprecedented times that call for unprecedented measures.”

“And, let’s be realistic,” the spokesperson went on. “Democracy is quite overrated. Being publicly accountable, no matter how limited we can make it, just slows down the wheels of government. This way we can work more directly with the people who really matter – you know, developers, local contractors, privatizers, those folks. Trust me,” she/he concluded, “this is best for the entire community.”

At the November 15 council meeting, Mayor Sendzik confirmed that he is as concerned as ever about two ruins in the city. He asked for patience in cleaning up the debris from the old Welland House “because there is heritage components (sic) to what is there, currently.”

Readers will recall that the 160-year-old building received heritage designation from the council five months ago the night it burned to the ground. The decision to grant heritage status took place after the old hotel had been empty for several years, during which time the council debated various preservation plans.

The mayor displayed a similar concern regarding the 55-acre GM site, which is currently leaking “significant” PCBs into 12 Mile Creek on “an ongoing basis.”   

“Some of those leaking PCBs are very old,” the mayor commented. “I mean, they’ve been leaking into our environment for more than 100 years. There is a heritage component to these toxic chemicals, so we don’t want to simply clean the mess up.”

When pressed by reporters, the mayor acknowledged that there is a health risk associated with not cleaning up the site, but he was quick to point out that the heritage value of these PCB’s demand full consideration.

“When we are talking legacy issues, we can never be too hasty,” he continued, possibly forgetting the fate of the Welland House and the GM smokestack. “We will be referring the matter to the Heritage Committee for deliberation and will await their report before we do anything we might later regret.” 

After racing to put out six fires blazing at the old GM site in six weeks, the St Catharines Fire Department finally realized that neither the city nor the owner was going to take action to clear the property anytime soon. Showing creativity and resourcefulness, the department decided to take a novel approach to the problem.

Spokesperson for the Department, Bob “Smoky” Beranger, explained the plan. “At first we were kind of annoyed, you know?” Beranger said at a recent press conference. “I mean, every week, there we went, sirens blaring, lights flashing to put out some campfire in the middle of the old Bayshore Building.” But after four or five calls, the department realized they had a real asset on their hands. “Who needs simulated fires when you can have real ones on a regular basis? Heck, we just scheduled it in on our weekly training program.”

When a Standard reporter pointed out that the fires posed dangers to both firefighters and intruders, Beranger nodded. “Exactly. That’s why it’s such a great training facility. No game-playing here, nossir. It’s life or death. Really ratchets up the learning curve.”

Beranger regretted the necessity for blocking Ontario St for several hours each week but pointed out that the facility is mainly used at night when traffic is lighter.

General Motors, who sold the 55-acre property in 2012, expressed delight at the news and have pledged to donate a dozen hazmat suits to protect firefighters while training on the newly designated facility. Upon hearing this, residents adjacent to the property have also requested hazmat suits. At the time of this writing, GM’s response had not been made public.

However, an email from GM did express excitement at the repurposing of the GM property. “We are just pleased as punch that the mess we left to the community nine years ago has been put to such good use. We always knew the old plant would turn out to be a real benefit to St Catharines.”

Hard on the heels of the $3.6 million awarded to Port Dalhousie’s Harbour Club, another developer of a new multi-million dollar luxury condo building has qualified for $6 million in CIP funds from the City based on the new program’s point system that prioritizes the number of bike racks on the property.

“Since our project had no affordable housing, no significant brownfield remediation, and no heritage value, we knew it would be close with our current luxury condo design,” said the developer, Heggithit Seshadi.  “But once we added 50 bike racks, we were way over the 50-point threshold.” Obviously delighted with the staff recommendation that council approve the grant, Seshadi commented, “It’s so great to work with a truly business-friendly community.”

The SubStandard spoke with a city councillor to gain a better understanding of how this latest project qualified for a CIP subsidy. “Look it’s only fair,” the councillor explained. “If you give a cash gift to one luxury condo developer, you have to give it to the others. When we say we are open for business,” the councillor continued, “we’re not kidding.”

Thanks to a bold move by a St Catharines city councillor, a room in the luxurious Harbour Club Residences in Port Dalhousie will be set aside as an affordable suite. At the September 27 city council meeting, eight members of council decided to gift the developer of the Harbour Club condo development $3.5 million from the Community Improvement Program (CIP), largely intended to encourage affordable housing. During the meeting, several speakers noted that that with none of the 122 units selling for under $900,000, the development seemed to defy even the broadest definition of “affordable,” but to no avail.

However, one councillor never lost sight of the program’s purpose, and during the discussion asked the developer, Sheldon Rosen, if he couldn’t pretty please set aside at least one unit for home seekers earning less than those on the Sunshine List.

Rosen agreed, and that resulted in hundreds of low-income housing seekers lining up for a lottery draw for the unit at this desirable waterside setting.

“We are delighted to make a unit available at a price much lower than the usual million bucks a residence,” Rosen said. “We’ve already identified the unit and it’s a big and open concept.”

To be known as the Porter Suite, the unit in question is actually the room where the standby generator will be housed. The developer has promised to upgrade it with a sink, toilet, stove and shower. “While there is no view of the harbour, or anything else,” the developers said, “Thee promenade will be only steps away, and they are free to use the bike rack.”

The Harbour Club Residences development is currently 90% sold and the property has doubled in value before construction has even begun.

“I want to sincerely thank the people of St Catharines for this generous gift,” Rosen commented, referring to the $3.5 million grant. “This will finally allow us to buy a corporate jet. The least we could do was put a family in the basement.”

Citing an unfair advantage resulting from the recent St Catharines CIP decision to fund a luxury condo project in Port Dalhousie, Niagara Falls Mayor Jim Diodati announced the city would be doubling their CIP incentives for upscale developments.

“What St. Catharines did this week is obviously a scheme to steal luxury developments from Niagara Falls,” said Mayor Diodati. “We’re not going to stand by while St. Catharines lures away the luxury developments that should go to the Falls. If they want to start a CIP war, we’re not backing down. The hell with affordable housing; we want the big stuff!”

In the meantime, Substandard reporters were unable to unable to confirm the rumour that St Catharines staff had streamlined the CIP grant application process to a single question: “How much you got?”

Stepping up to the challenge of Saint Catharines’ affordable housing crisis, the city has announced a novel concept for those on limited incomes. A brand new development, to be named The Sheik’s Tent Residences, will be located along the beautiful banks of the Second Welland Canal in what is now Centennial Park. Information released by the city said that they are expecting to install 100 luxury tents on exclusive plots strategically placed along the canal for easy access for bathing, drinking and dumping sewage directly into the creek.

Promotional material for the planned development provides more information on this bold plan:

This is a rare opportunity for families to get in on the ground floor of this exciting new concept! Opening directly onto the canal, a tent in the Sheik’s Tent Residences will offer the discerning purchaser a combination of refined living with a one-of-a-kind water setting. The tents will be located in a lavish park setting with gardens and, at some later date, a totem pole in the shared front yard. Each tent will have a grand port cochere that opens into a single, spacious 10 x 10 open-concept room with soaring ceilings and breathtaking panoramas of the surrounding hundred-year-old willows and the historic canal. Firmly attached to luxurious hardwood platforms, the units should survive even the most ferocious winter storms.

Deluxe Coleman propane four-burner stoves will be provided for each tent along with wine racks and an icebox that uses genuine ice. Entirely pet friendly, the Sheik’s Tent Residences will also be eco-friendly, one of the greenest housing projects ever constructed in Niagara. Without electricity, heat or air conditioning, the entire 100-unit community will be carbon neutral.

A unique feature of the development is the one-of-a-kind spacious fire pits that have been meticulously detailed and designed to provide a magnificent cooking and hospitality focus for each tent. Besides providing the perfect ambience for entertaining, these pits are also great on weeknights when the whole family can sit around the fire and roast hotdogs. And how cozy on those snowy, Christmas-card January mornings!

Because we know residents will be busy enjoying the surrounding wineries, museums and boating lifestyle, a City concierge will deliver firewood to each tent once a week. Bike and shopping cart racks will be attached to each tent.

Despite the bike racks, because the development will not exceed the $50 million minimum investment and also lacks a mixed-use component as well as sufficient tax generation, the project will not be eligible for a CIP grant.

June 17, 2025

The trial of Bayshore Group directors Robert and Chiara Megna has been postponed again due to a freak accident at the provincial courthouse. The pair were to stand trial for demolishing the stack at the old GM site without a proper demolition permit, an incident occurred five years ago.

“I was mounting the steps of the courthouse when the accident occurred,’ said Megna. “The pain was intense. There was no way I could appear in court.”

Charges were brought against the property owners and their company in October of 2020. But since then they have successfully avoided trial as a result of a series of unfortunate occurrences:

2021 Lawyer deceased
2021 Chiara’s hair appointment
2022 Car keys misplaced
2022 Flight back from the Dominican Republic resort delayed
2022 Lawyer deceased
2023 Stomach cramps — bad lobster dinner
2024 Chiara’s hair appointment
2024 Lawyer deceased
2025 Sore toe

The trial has been rescheduled for December of 2025, though it may be delayed again since Mr Megna reported that he has had difficulty finding new legal representation.