Oligarch’s Superyacht Heading for Port Dalhousie?

Rumours are swirling in Port Dalhousie about a superyacht once owned by the notorious Russian oligarch Boris Badanov that is now said to be steaming to its new home in a slip adjacent to the Harbour Club Residences in PD.  The luxury pleasure boat, advertised in Yachting International magazine as “offering the discerning purchaser an unparalleled combination of refined living with a one-of-a kind waterside setting,” is said to be longer than a Canadian football field.

Originally called the Zhadnyy Ublyudok, the yacht has reportedly been reflagged in Liberia and renamed the CIP4ME. While details are sketchy, reports suggest the new owner paid about $7 million for the yacht, “A real bargain,” according to Holly Shitz, a writer for YI. “The yacht inventory has increased recently,” Ms Shitz commented. “It’s something of a buyer’s market right now.”

Don Cinque, a spokesperson for Canadian Port Authorities, admitted that the sudden influx of new megayachts presents a challenge. “These suckers are big,” Cinque said when contacted by SubStandard reporters. When asked about the moorage fees for such enormous craft, Cinque scoffed, “Obviously, if we went by the book, the costs would be astronomical.  But given the benefits to the community, we are negotiating agreements with local councils so they will pay the yacht owners to dock in their marinas.”

Cinque went on to say the agreements will include a Community Benefits clause requiring all caviar, champagne and chlorine for the onboard swimming pools to be purchased locally.