“Oh, Hello. Is this Citizens First?”
“Yep.”
“Well, maybe you could help me.”
“Probably not, but give it a shot.”
“Uh, OK. See, I’m new to town and we just got our water bill. So I’d just like to know how it’s calculated.”
“Ha! Wouldn’t we all. Just kidding. You can find that stuff somewhere on the City web page.”
“Yes, that’s what I thought. But you see, I’m not that great with computers and I’ll be darned if I could figure it out.”
“Don’t feel bad. None of us can figure it out either.”
“Oh, I see. Well is there someone you can refer me to that might be able to explain it to me?”
“Nope. All enquiries are to be directed to the web page. Besides, staff is currently reviewing the rate formula.”
“Oh, well maybe one of them could talk to me?”
(Laughing) No, no, no. That’s not how it works. They don’t talk to the public, just to each other. And then when they come up with a policy, they run it by council.”
“Oh. Well, when does the public get to comment?”
“After it’s passed.”
“But by then it’s too late.”
“Of course. That’s the point.”
“But surely citizens can speak about an issue at the council meeting.”
“Sure. If the issue is on the agenda.”
“Oh, and how do I know if it’s on the agenda?”
“It’s on our web site.”
“Right, of course. So, if I go on the web site, it will start off with the date of the next council meeting and all the items being discussed?”
“No, no. You have to find the right heading, scroll down until you find the right date and then select agenda. It might be on there.”
“Might?”
“Well, you know. Unless it’s in-camera.”
“Does that happen a lot?”
“As much as possible.”
“Look, this just doesn’t make sense. I just want to find out how my water bill is calculated.”
“I told you, the staff is reviewing it. Says right here ‘At this time there is no information related to our review that can be shared with the public.’”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Well, the City doesn’t want this information in just anyone’s hands, you know.”
“Why not?”
“Legal. They might get sued.”
“For telling citizens how their water bill is being calculated?”
“Can’t be too careful.”
“But I’m a citizen! There must be some way I get the information.”
“Well, if you’re going to be so aggressive, you can file an FOI request.”
“FOI?”
“Freedom of Information. Form’s online. Fill it out and return it to the 3rd floor of the City Hall. With your fee.”
“Fee?”
“Well sure. Freedom of information isn’t free, you know. There’s a $5 application fee.”
“That’s not bad.”
“And then it’s $7.50 per quarter hour of time used for research and preparation. Photocopies are charged at the rate of .20 cents per page. Oh, and computer programming, if needed to develop and retrieve information is $15 per quarter hour.”
“Oh, my gosh. Well, how long will it take?”
“Normally between three and six months. But, you know, with Covid and all, it could be up to…”
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