A local citizen out exercising her pet Newfoundland dog, Joey, noticed a chunk of metal lying on the sidewalk on Ontario Street today. On closer inspection it appears that what she found was a rusted and stripped industrial-size bolt.
“At first I thought nothing of it,” said Irma Parsons, herself a Newfoundlander. “But then I looked up and realized, by jeez, I was standing right under the catwalk at the old GM factory. I’m tormented, I am. I mean, we walk that route every day. From what I’ve heard, the whole bloody thing could fall on Joey and smash him flat as a salt cod.”
Concern about the catwalk was raised in February when the demolition company working at the GM site, Collins’ Haulage, destroyed the old smokestack without a permit. At the time the Company claimed the unauthorized demolition was done to save citizens’ lives.
Sheldon Glaikit, an employee of the demolition company, stated, “If it came down on you, that sucker would make gravy out of you. Yep, that’s what we trained professionals call something like that smokestack: a gravy maker.” Glaikit went on to warn the unwary community about the overpass across Ontario Street. “That catwalk is the next big danger, and it’s only being held up by eight bolts! Another gravy maker for sure.”
Dog walkers and other pedestrians were understandably unnerved. The city claims the catwalk bolts were inspected and are in good condition, indicating that the catwalk has been held up by the same eight bolts since it was built 50 years ago.
The mystery of the rusty bolt remains unsolved. When a picture of the bolt was shown to the City Engineering, Facilities, and Environmental Services Department personnel, a spokesperson said they were not overly concerned. “After all, at worst it’s just one bolt out of eight.” The department did agree, however, to erect a sign under the catwalk reading, “Hard Hat Area”.
Niagara's Most Distrusted News Source 